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08-Apr-2020 23:28

But just as German-Israel diplomatic relations can be fraught with complications, so can German-Israeli inter-dating, in part due to different mentalities and dating codes (and the issue of intermarriage, for some).

Israelis and Germans of all ages who have dated on both sides of the Israeli-German curtain have offered some insights.

In other words, most outsiders don’t really understand that the average Israeli male is not a gentle warrior—he’s a pig. Linda is a junior at Cornell and has decided to spend the year at the Hebrew University.

Most believe the stereotype that all Jewish men are gentle nebbishes, so grateful for female companionship that they wind up fulfilling the punchline of the old joke: A boy comes home from school and tells his mother he’s been cast in a class play. The mother nods sympathetically and says, “Don’t worry, son, next time I’m sure you’ll get a speaking part.” Many women have also been led to believe another stereotype, that Israelis look, act and smell like Ari Ben-Canaan as played by Paul Newman—rough-edged men, cynical romantics, riding bareback into enemy villages at high noon to smash terrorist cells and work on their tans. Take a wimp accountant, mix in a freedom-fighting guerrilla, and what you have is a noble warrior who gets permission from his wife to go raiding after 6 p.m., seven on weekends. LET’S TAKE a fictional woman and place her in a fictional setting for demonstration purposes.

There are some permutations to the rule, as well as some exceptions. The Middle East is a region of the world not known for sensitive, deferential men—it may have something to do with the chemical makeup of olive oil, or possibly humous.

She arrives at the introductory ulpan, and immediately becomes entranced by her counselor, a 23-year-old student named, for demonstration purposes only, Dudu.

And quite often they are not looking for anything serious.” According to David (name changed upon request), this “aloofness” is not reserved for men.To be ruled by one’s emotions and feelings, uncontrolled and undirected by logic, values and clear thinking, with no clear sense of goals and responsibility, is to ignore the only factors which can establish a firm foundation for a permanent and mature life-long relationship.The theme repeated everywhere in novels and movies is that “I am in love and my love is beyond my control”; “I fell in love”; it was as though someone pushed me off a cliff and it was all accidental and unintentional.Nor is romantic love an end in itself, so that it cannot and should not be accepted in defense of any type of behavior in any male-female relationship which is less than a properly controlled one.

Such explanations as “We couldn’t help ourselves, we just fell in love”, or “we didn’t realize what was happening” are excuses, not reasons, because people usually do realize very well indeed, what is happening; they all too often try to convince themselves that certain forms of intimacy are justified because the two individuals concerned happen to be truly in love.Click here for online version (Jpost subscribers) Click here for PDF print version During last year’s jubilee celebrations of the Jerusalem-Berlin diplomatic relationship, much fanfare was made about economic cooperation, cultural exchanges and academic collaborations, but one topic went little discussed: German- Israeli romantic relations.Another kind of diplomacy is taking place in bars, restaurants – and bedrooms – in which the bonds of love (or lust) create unique and intimate intersections of German-Israeli past, present, and future.The apartment hasn’t been cleaned since the Israeli withdrawal from Sinai. He kicks off his sandals, deftly picks the lint out from between his toes, and they sit on his bed, 24 cinder blocks tied together with cord and covered by a mattress the thickness of a proton.